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The Art of Asking: How I learned to stop worrying and let people help Kindle Edition

by Amanda Palmer (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 out of 5 stars 2,322 ratings

REDISCOVER THE FORGOTTEN ART OF ASKING IN THIS NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING BOOK

'Amanda Palmer joyfully shows a generation how to change their lives' Caitlin Moran

'To read Amanda Palmer's remarkable memoir about asking and giving is to tumble headlong into her world' Elizabeth Gilbert

'The Art of Asking is a book about cultivating trust and getting as close as possible to love, vulnerability, and connection. Uncomfortably close. Dangerously close. Beautifully close' Brene Brown

Imagine standing on a box in the middle of a busy city, dressed as a white-faced bride, and silently using your eyes to ask people for money. Or touring Europe in a punk cabaret band, and finding a place to sleep each night by reaching out to strangers on Twitter. For Amanda Palmer, actions like these have gone beyond satisfying her basic needs for food and shelter - they've taught her how to turn strangers into friends, build communities, and discover her own giving impulses. And because she had learned how to ask, she was able to go to the world to ask for the money to make a new album and tour with it, and to raise over a million dollars in a month.

In the New York TImes bestseller The Art of Asking, Palmer expands upon her popular TED talk to reveal how ordinary people, those of us without thousands of Twitter followers and adoring fans, can use these same principles in our own lives.

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  1. Print length
    353 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Piatkus
  4. Accessibility
    Learn more
  5. Publication date
    11 Nov. 2014
  6. File size
    4.9 MB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Product description

Review

"Much as Anne Lamott offered 'instructions on writing and life' in Bird by Bird, Amanda Palmer will be instructive to anyone who struggles with fear of the 'no.'"--Shelf Awareness

"A story about a life in one dollar bills, from statue to icon, where media doesn't matter, crowds do. Mandatory reading in the digital age, for aspiring artists and their doubtful parents."
--Nicholas Negroponte, founder, MIT Media Lab

"This is the kind of book that makes you want to call the author up at midnight to whisper, 'My God. I thought I was the only one.'"--Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess and author of Let's Pretend This Never Happened

"A book unlike any other I've ever read. . . a book I'd have no problem recommending to everyone I know. My mother, my best friend, my work friends, my Facebook friends, my LinkedIn contacts, even the people I meet on the street or see on the subway when I commute to and from work. It's that important and that groundbreaking. This book is not just someone's brave and personal journey from childhood to her life as an artist, but it also addresses why and how it's so hard to look into someone else's eyes and be real, and ask for help when we need it. . . . Palmer has, not to put too fine a point on it, ripped open her chest and exposed her heart for all to see. She's written her truth - and it's at once brutal and gloriously, importantly beautiful."--The Huffington Post

"'The Art of Asking' is a compelling read, easily the most universal work she has ever done."--The Boston Globe

"From this beautiful, heart-wrenching story of art comes an incredible account of the nature and future of commerce."
--Lawrence Lessig, author of Free Culture

"Amanda Palmer joyfully shows a generation how to change their lives."--Caitlin Moran, author of How to Be a Woman and How to Build a Girl

"Amanda Palmer's generous work of genius will change the way you think about connection, love, and grace."
--Seth Godin, author of Tribes

"To read Amanda Palmer's remarkable memoir about asking and giving is to tumble headlong into her world. At first, you find yourself thinking, 'Goodness, what a crazy world that Amanda Palmer inhabits! How does she possibly endure it?' Then, gradually, as you read along, a doorway opens up in your heart, and you realize, 'I want to live in a world exactly like hers.' God willing, this book will show us all how to do it."--Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and The Signature of All Things

"Amanda has a direct line with her audience-a lifeline for them and for her, the codependency all truly great performers surrender to . . . She's capable of anything, incapable of telling anything but the truth."
--Bono

From the Back Cover

Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter.

Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for - as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyses their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of The Art of Asking.

Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. The Art of Asking will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.

'Amanda Palmer's generous work of genius will change the way you think about connection, love, and grace' - Seth Godin, author of Tribes

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00NLHJKR8
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Piatkus
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ 11 Nov. 2014
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 0
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 4.9 MB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 353 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0349408101
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 2,322 ratings

About the authors

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  1. C. Brené Brown

    C. Brené Brown

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    Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

    Brené has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of six #1 New York Times best sellers and is the host of two award-winning Spotify podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead.

    Brené’s books have been translated into more than 30 languages, and her titles include Atlas of the Heart, Dare to Lead, Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection. With Tarana Burke, she co-edited the best-selling anthology You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience.

    Brené’s TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 50 million views. Brené is the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix, and in March 2022, she launched a new show on HBO Max that focuses on her latest book, Atlas of the Heart.

    Brené spends most of her time working in organizations around the world, helping develop braver leaders and more-courageous cultures. She lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They have two children, Ellen and Charlie, and a weird Bichon named Lucy.

    See more on the author's page
  2. Amanda Palmer

    Amanda Palmer

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    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Amanda Palmer rose to fame as the lead singer, pianist, and lyricist for the acclaimed band The Dresden Dolls, and performs as a solo artist as well as collaborating with artists including Jonathan Richman and her husband, author Neil Gaiman.

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
2,322 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book to be an absolute must-read that offers amazing insight into life, with moments of emotional candour throughout. The writing style is easy to read, and customers appreciate the memoir's huge whack of autobiography. They value the book's authenticity and artistry, with one customer describing it as "utterly needed missing art in interconnected life." Customers laugh and cry while reading it.

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ReadabilityInsightEmotional depthArtAuthenticityMemoirWriting styleHumor
50 customers mention ‘Readability’50 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly readable and worth their time, with one customer describing it as the best read of 2014.

"I was surprised to end up loving this book and Amanda’s generous sharing of herself, her quirky, courageous commitment to a transparent, vulnerable,..." Read more

"...As someone who writes about networking, this is one of the best books on the genre I've ever read. Fantastic! Read it now." Read more

"...What an incredible and worthwhile read." Read more

"...and philosophical and reflective about it all, makes it a totally essential book...." Read more

46 customers mention ‘Insight’46 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and thought-provoking, describing it as a heartfelt treatise.

"...book and Amanda’s generous sharing of herself, her quirky, courageous commitment to a transparent, vulnerable, spontaneous intimate outpouring of..." Read more

"...It has made me uncomfortable. It has provoked me. It has made me think about my own life and made me question and look at some of my own behaviours...." Read more

"...You get such a strong understanding into feelings such as empathy, dependence, stubbornness, generosity,love, hate, abundance and, above all, human..." Read more

"...about love, loss, hard work, music, art, cancer, friendship.... Learning to ask and TRUST...." Read more

18 customers mention ‘Emotional depth’18 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the emotional depth of the book, noting its moments of emotional candour, and one customer mentions how it shares ideas about connections and emotions.

"...It does what it says - it offers a new angle on asking: asking as an intimate, vulnerable and utterly needed missing art in interconnected life...." Read more

"...Guess there is after all a touchy feely book for everyone ...." Read more

"...stubbornness, generosity,love, hate, abundance and, above all, human connection...." Read more

"...This book is about love, loss, hard work, music, art, cancer, friendship.... Learning to ask and TRUST...." Read more

12 customers mention ‘Art’12 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's artistry, with one noting its depth of insight into the life of artists, while another describes it as a stunning work that addresses the missing art in interconnected life.

"...on asking: asking as an intimate, vulnerable and utterly needed missing art in interconnected life...." Read more

"...This book is about love, loss, hard work, music, art, cancer, friendship.... Learning to ask and TRUST...." Read more

"God, this book is magic. Through accident, design, neuroses and randomness, Amanda Palmer is living a life pretty much as an experiment in trusting..." Read more

"...as a musician it's hard no to love her as a complex/flawed yet beautiful human being. Get in, hop on this ride." Read more

11 customers mention ‘Authenticity’11 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the authenticity of the book, finding it honest and real, with one customer describing it as a true account of living more authentically.

"...she starts to write more from the heart - it feels truer and more honest. Less rock 'n' roll memoir and more about a real human being...." Read more

"Amanda deserves 5 stars. This book is an honest account of living more authentically...." Read more

"...It just insightful, amusing , sad. Just read the book. It is honest, sometimes to the point of tmi. Just read the book...." Read more

"...I have read it at every available opportunity and love it. It is honest,thought provoking and inspired creativity and co operation." Read more

9 customers mention ‘Memoir’9 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the memoir aspect of the book, noting it includes a significant amount of autobiography, with one customer describing it as a beautiful story.

"...It has everything. It is a memoir and a business volume at the same time; an insight into rock culture and self-development book...." Read more

"...There's a huge whack of autobiography here, built around the central discussion about relationships and community, and while I'm not that interested..." Read more

"This book is, frankly, important. Part memoir, part polemic, in places uncomfortable, but always riveting and perceptive, the redoubtable Ms Palmer..." Read more

"This is an autobiography. I stopped half way through, (got bored) but picked it up again, and finished it...." Read more

9 customers mention ‘Writing style’9 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the writing style of the book, finding it great and easy to read, with one customer noting that the author writes with painful honesty.

"...Amanda Palmer is not for everyone. She is bold, opinionated and dares to be different. I love that. I love this." Read more

"...Her writing style is infectious and when she started talking about the “fraud police” it hit a nerve !..." Read more

"...halfway through it starts to get interesting, she starts to write more from the heart - it feels truer and more honest...." Read more

"...Amanda writes with a refreshing honesty, and invites you into her life with both her music and this marvellous book...." Read more

8 customers mention ‘Humor’8 positive0 negative

Customers find the book humorous, with parts that make them laugh and cry.

"...I could hardly put it down - I laughed and cried. I am in awe of Amanda Palmer - her TED talk combined with this book have taught me so much...." Read more

"...The fact that she's a great storyteller and funny and philosophical and reflective about it all, makes it a totally essential book...." Read more

"...There are parts that did moisten the eye and parts that made me laugh. I understand her methods and approach a lot more as a result...." Read more

"...There are several things in the book that I didn't know about her. There are laughs , cries and times you just want to reach out to her to say "I..." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

  • Sandy Gee
    5.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring, audaciously intimate take on authentic interconnection
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 22 December 2014
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    I was surprised to end up loving this book and Amanda’s generous sharing of herself, her quirky, courageous commitment to a transparent, vulnerable, spontaneous intimate outpouring of her art/life. I was wary at first, suspecting a gimmick. Put off by my first impression of her brash performance persona and raw, unpolished music. But I was intrigued by Brene Brown having written a forward. So I got the free sample on kindle and found it just interesting enough to buy the book. Then wow. In the reading I started to ‘get’ Amanda - just how courageously genuine she is - truly living herself, her art, her life. Genuinely, transparently ‘out there’ sharing it all. I found her level of right-there, amongst-people, honest openness and trust deeply inspirational. And through reading this and understanding who she is and her story, she’s become a very powerful model for me. I aspire to live authentically, to be my genuine self, but somehow often end up inadvertently trying to be something better than what I actually am - something more mature, responsible, consistent, coherent - a more ‘grown up’, better person (and less ‘me’). Amanda’s account of her gloriously quirky, live, ongoing stream of spontaneous, genuine offerings of music, art and her own transparent (naked) self, help me see myself as I am (without improvement) in a clearer, more positive light. Her audacious intimacy illuminates some hidden fundamentals of authentic living. It does what it says - it offers a new angle on asking: asking as an intimate, vulnerable and utterly needed missing art in interconnected life. In the process of telling the story it offers an enlightening study of genuine, non-gimmicky, but full, powerful, integrated use of social media.
    Buy it. Or at least watch her TED talk. The book has all of that and much more of her inspiring story. And her ‘Dear Daily Mail’ song reply to their lambasting article on You Tube is a great intro to her music. (A final thought - Amanda makes it clear that offering and asking are intimately entwined. Her message prompted me to write this - my first book review. It’s an offering I want to make - and implicit in the offer is an open ‘ask’ - will you read it? Like Amanda’s ‘Asks’ - its not a demand - simple, plain, clear - and here, in this format, we are not confused - you will only read it if you want to. Thats what it’s about.
    14 people found this helpful
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  • Mrs. K. A. Wheatley
    5.0 out of 5 stars Truly Excellent
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 August 2015
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    I was already a patron of Amanda Palmer before I bought this book. I upped my patronage after reading it. I've been interested in Palmer for a few years now, and gradually come to admire her more and more. I found this book absolutely inspirational in ways I never thought I would. I generally loathe feel good, self help type books, and honestly thought this might turn out to be one of those, which is why I waited so long to read this. I also did not watch the Ted talk the book is based on until after I'd read half the book and knew I would love it.

    This book has stayed with me ever since I finished it. It has made me uncomfortable. It has provoked me. It has made me think about my own life and made me question and look at some of my own behaviours. I found it truly life changing. I hope those changes will stick and stay with me. Amanda Palmer is not for everyone. She is bold, opinionated and dares to be different. I love that. I love this.
    11 people found this helpful
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  • Grace
    4.0 out of 5 stars Touchy feely, raw ,emotional & actually a pretty good read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 April 2015
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    I read lots in all formats and petty much most genres but “touchy feely” never on my type of books to read though!
    I’m a late comer to admiring Amanda Palmer but what with him indoors playing Amanda Palmer such that some of her songs have become ear worms and her being the spouse of one of my fav authors I eventually got more intrigued about her and got round to watching her TED talk . That really was impressive . From that I found out abut her book that expands on the talk and that’s how I ended up reading this over two nights. I just couldn’t put it down! I totally get why her fan base are so intense and see her as family she over shares way more than you’d anticipate (I am a Brit though so this may be normal ! ) I was just enjoying it for the ride it was plus her spouse is littered all over it so it’s a little biographical about him too so double points there! Her writing style is infectious and when she started talking about the “fraud police” it hit a nerve ! Guess there is after all a touchy feely book for everyone . Read Amanda’s book and who knows you may like me have found that part of the library/book shop/ kindle store you never venture into may have a hidden gem like this there.

    4 stars because I finished it way too quickly and unlikely any time soon she’s gonna write another!! ( I would have given it 4.5 stars but you can't do that!)
    One person found this helpful
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  • Andy Lopata
    5.0 out of 5 stars A book that has everything
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 December 2014
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    Wow!

    Having enjoyed and blogged about Amanda Palmer's TED talk, as soon as I saw this book I knew I had to read it. I rushed through the book I was reading just so that I could start it and it didn't disappoint. Quite simply, this is possibly my favourite book of all time.

    It has everything. It is a memoir and a business volume at the same time; an insight into rock culture and self-development book. And all with song lyrics/poetry thrown in for good measure.

    Above all, and at its best, this book provides a fantastic insight into human nature. You get such a strong understanding into feelings such as empathy, dependence, stubbornness, generosity,love, hate, abundance and, above all, human connection. As someone who writes about networking, this is one of the best books on the genre I've ever read.

    Fantastic! Read it now.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Miranda B
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wow - a roller coaster of joy
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 August 2015
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    There are not many books that blow me away quite like this one did. I could hardly put it down - I laughed and cried. I am in awe of Amanda Palmer - her TED talk combined with this book have taught me so much. This book is about love, loss, hard work, music, art, cancer, friendship.... Learning to ask and TRUST. I wish I had known about her Kickstarter sooner but am now supporting her on Patreon. What an incredible and worthwhile read.
    Helpful
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  • Liz Timoney
    5.0 out of 5 stars funny, heartfelt and fascinating insight
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 9 November 2023
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    It’s like seeing into another persons soul… messy and weird and wonderful. Also seeing others like Neil Gaiman (her husband finally) through her eyes… fascinating.
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Rebecca
    5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE IT!!
    Reviewed in Australia on 26 March 2021
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    WELL WRITTEN! EXCELLENT GUIDANCE AND TIPS! AWESOME BOOK TO HAVE AT HOME FOR REFERENCE! TY!! 100/100%
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  • Oaka
    5.0 out of 5 stars Marvelous book
    Reviewed in Germany on 24 April 2021
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    Great book written by a woman who is Not afraid of beeing vunerable and trusts the world enough, to fall into her crowd.
    Loved to read it, recommend it also, if you want to get inspired for making your own thing (doesn't matter, if It is making your own soap, writing poems or helping in a Neighborhood Project).
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  • Cesar
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente lectura
    Reviewed in Mexico on 26 September 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Uno de mis libros favoritos. Amanda desnuda su alma y nos cuenta las cosas que ha pasado para llegar a donde está. Cautivador y emotivo.
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  • Cliente Amazon
    5.0 out of 5 stars This is a book about life, about fragility and about strength
    Reviewed in Italy on 15 February 2016
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    I don't know whether you know Amanda Palmer, whether you love her or hate her (there seems to be no in-between), but I think you should read this book anyway.

    It's about being human, and about art and self-worth and trust. It's about how to be able to ask for help, and how to give help, and about being part of something bigger with other human beings.
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  • Ingra Reyes Gómez
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amanda en estado puro
    Reviewed in Spain on 20 December 2014
    Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
    La valoración la pongo tan alta primero, por que amo a esta mujer, segundo, por que me ha encantado. Es Amanda en estado puro. No puedo decir que haya algo que no me haya gustado. Obviamente no es una obra de poesía, pero es un relato de vida y experiencias que ayudaron a esta artista a crecer como ser humano. Si eres una persona llena de amor y con esperanzas en el ser humano, te recomiendo este libro.
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