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Robert Bevan
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Critical Failures (Caverns and Creatures Book 1) Kindle Edition

by Robert Bevan (Author), Joan Reginaldo (Editor) Format: Kindle Edition
4.3 out of 5 stars 3,570 ratings

What if you and your friends got to live the game for real?

What if you and your friends were assholes?

After relentlessly mocking their strange new Game Master, Tim and his friends find themselves trapped in the bodies of their fantasy game characters, in a world where the swords, the magic, and the gastrointestinal issues are all too real.
They learn hard lessons about tolerance and teamwork, and a new meaning for the term “dump stat”.

Ha ha. Just kidding. They don't learn shit.

Never before have comedy and fantasy come together so much like a train wreck, in which each train was carrying a shipment of burning dumpsters. You just can't help but continue to stare.

Don't be the last of your circle of nerds to read this book. Shake the Dorito crumbs out of your neck beard, grab your large sack, and prepare to enter the world of Caverns & Creatures.

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  1. Book 1 of 10
    Caverns and Creatures
  2. Print length
    284 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Accessibility
    Learn more
  5. Publication date
    5 Jun. 2012
  6. File size
    2.2 MB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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There are 10 books in this series.
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  1. He easily outran everyone, bolting deeper into the forest like a coked-up hooker fleeing a crime scene.
    Highlighted by 235 Kindle readers
  2. “So we have a halfling rogue,” He passed Tim his character sheet. “A dwarven cleric,” he handed the sheet to Dave. “A half-orc barbarian,” he passed the paper to Cooper. “And an elven wizard,” he said, passing the last sheet to Julian.
    Highlighted by 210 Kindle readers
  3. His ears were assaulted by a roar like a lion getting raped by an elephant.
    Highlighted by 143 Kindle readers
  4. The potential for disaster was akin to the potential for getting wet by jumping into a lake.
    Highlighted by 95 Kindle readers
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0088XPHOK
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Robert Bevan
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ 5 Jun. 2012
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2.2 MB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 284 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Book 1 of 10 ‏ : ‎ Caverns and Creatures
  • Customer reviews:
    4.3 out of 5 stars 3,570 ratings

About the author

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Robert Bevan

Robert Bevan

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Robert Bevan took his first steps in comedy with The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and his first steps in fantasy with Dungeons & Dragons. Over the years, these two loves mingled, festered, and congealed into the ever expanding Caverns & Creatures series of comedy/fantasy novels and short stories.

Robert is a writer, blogger, and a player on the Authors & Dragons podcast. He lives in Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife, two kids, and his dog, Speck.

Find him online at http://www.caverns-and-creatures.com

Or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/robertbevanbooks

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
3,570 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book hilarious, particularly appreciating its fun with D&D absurdities, and enjoy it from start to finish. Moreover, the story receives positive feedback for its ingenious ending and excellent fantasy elements, while the characters are well-developed and beautifully written. Additionally, the book's concept is interesting, and one customer notes it's completely logical within the game's constructs.

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27 customers mention ‘Humor’23 positive4 negative

Customers find the book humorous, particularly appreciating the fun with D&D absurdities and witty dialogue.

"...is fantastic, it really brings the characters to life and adds to the humorous tone. There's honestly nothing I didn't like about this book...." Read more

"Epic action packed story, really goofy laugh out loud humour,..." Read more

"A little bit of fantasy and a whole load of male humour. Witty dialogue and interesting, relatable characters...." Read more

"...I'm getting the second book to continue the story. Funny, bonkers, crude and yet with characters who I found myself genuinely attached to, I..." Read more

20 customers mention ‘Enjoyment’20 positive0 negative

Customers find the book a great read that they enjoyed from start to finish, with one customer noting it's surprisingly well written.

"...This is an entertaining light-hearted read, and I'm tempted to say three stars because of the silliness, but I've had a bad week (stupid cold) and..." Read more

"...However, while Critical Failures is an excellent book - it's not for everyone. 1...." Read more

"...I loved it. Its bonkers, rude, crude and eminently enjoyable, an adventure story not unlike the D&D cartoons I loved as a kid, but with foul-mouthed..." Read more

"...All round a great book, I'd go as far as to say a must read for any DnD player." Read more

14 customers mention ‘Story quality’14 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the story of the book, describing it as an excellent fantasy with an ingenious ending.

"...game rules if you're unfamiliar with them, things are explained as the story moves along and it all makes sense...." Read more

"...took me by surprise yet was satisfyingly consistent, and the ending is ingenious and unexpected, setting things up very nicely for the next book...." Read more

"...It's beautifully written. The plot is taut and it's a brilliant expose of how 20-40 year old men talk amongst themselves when they're sure no-one..." Read more

"Epic action packed story, really goofy laugh out loud humour,..." Read more

10 customers mention ‘Idea’10 positive0 negative

Customers find the concept of the book interesting and bonkers, with one customer describing it as a super geek fest.

"...fully explained but that wasn't a concern for me, it was an interesting enough concept not to question it too much...." Read more

"...yet was satisfyingly consistent, and the ending is ingenious and unexpected, setting things up very nicely for the next book...." Read more

"...Witty dialogue and interesting, relatable characters. A passing knowledge of D&D would help but is by no means necessary...." Read more

"...I loved it. Its bonkers, rude, crude and eminently enjoyable, an adventure story not unlike the D&D cartoons I loved as a kid, but with foul-mouthed..." Read more

9 customers mention ‘Character development’9 positive0 negative

Customers love the characters and concept of the book, and find it beautifully written, with one customer specifically praising the fantastic dialogue.

"...The characters are brilliant, particulary Cooper who winds up an Orc with a horrendously low charisma score which makes him utterly disgusting to be..." Read more

"I was extremely impressed by Critical Failures. It's beautifully written...." Read more

"...Witty dialogue and interesting, relatable characters. A passing knowledge of D&D would help but is by no means necessary...." Read more

"...Fart and dick jokes abound. That being said, the characters are brilliant (total a-holes, but brilliantly realised) and recongnisable as people you..." Read more

4 customers mention ‘Logicalness’4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's logic, with one noting how it is completely logical within the game's constructs, while another finds it hilariously detailed.

"...with them, things are explained as the story moves along and it all makes sense...." Read more

"...The plot - well, it's all pretty silly, but completely logical within the constructs of the game...." Read more

"...the DnD world to that of the real world, but things are fairly well explained to the reader by the inclusion of a character who's never played DnD..." Read more

"...in the game world" are brilliantly thought out and detailed in hilariously graphic ways...." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

  • chettsgenie
    5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh Out Loud Funny
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 24 January 2013
    Verified Purchase
    'Critical Failures' is the story of a geek called Tim who arranges weekly a role playing game similar to Dungeons & Dragons. Tim & three friends make the mistake of inviting stranger Mordred to play with them and they end up at his mercy when he puts them inside the game after they insult him.

    It isn't hard to grasp any of the role playing game rules if you're unfamiliar with them, things are explained as the story moves along and it all makes sense. How exactly Mordred puts them inside the game doesn't really get fully explained but that wasn't a concern for me, it was an interesting enough concept not to question it too much.

    The characters are brilliant, particulary Cooper who winds up an Orc with a horrendously low charisma score which makes him utterly disgusting to be around - I don't think I've ever thought 'Yuck!' so much in my life! The dialogue is fantastic, it really brings the characters to life and adds to the humorous tone. There's honestly nothing I didn't like about this book. Even the situations Bevan puts his characters in seem to be designed for maximum hilarity.

    To sum up, this book really made me laugh. I loved it. The ending made me want a sequel, right now!
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Pauline M Ross
    4.0 out of 5 stars A fun read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 October 2012
    Verified Purchase
    This is a really fun book. The basic premise: a group of friends are keen players of 'Caverns and Creatures', a game not totally unlike 'Dungeons and Dragons' (cough), but when they insult their new Cavern Master, he retaliates by sending them into the game for real. And so a half-orc barbarian, a dwarven cleric, a halfling rogue and an elvish sorcerer find themselves getting used to new bodies, learning to use their abilities, facing up to trolls, goblins, giant ants and a humourless town guard, and finding ingenious ways to survive, but all strictly within the rules of the game.

    I've never played D&D, and my only contact with the culture was reading 'The Elfish Gene' many years ago, so a lot of this could have been incomprehensible to me. It's a testament to the author's skill that it wasn't; there was never a point where I felt I needed more explanation (apart from the title!), or that I was missing the point of a joke. And yes, it's funny, very very funny. The first half depends a great deal on the barbarian orc, whose low charisma rating manifests itself in explosions of bodily fluids and a great deal of swearing and aggression, which palls fairly rapidly, but the second half is much more clever, and laugh out loud humour right the way through. The appearance of the sister (as a half-elf druid with antler's horns) and her boyfriend (a muscular type transformed into a wimpy bard) liven things up greatly.

    The plot - well, it's all pretty silly, but completely logical within the constructs of the game. There were multiple times where a solution took me by surprise yet was satisfyingly consistent, and the ending is ingenious and unexpected, setting things up very nicely for the next book. The characters don't have a great deal of depth (but then a barbarian orc is bound to be fairly one-note), but they adapt very nicely to their changed circumstances and learn to use their abilities over the course of the book. The only big negative for me was that so many of the jokes depend on what can only be described as adolescent humour - a lot of four-letter-words, gross-out descriptions of blood, vomit and worse, dismembered corpses and the like. I'm not offended by such things, but it's a very cheap type of humour, and although a certain amount is fine, and it's in character for the barbarian, the best moments for me were the more subtle ones - such as the halfling having a sister who's half-human and half-elf, or having to use a British accent to understand elvish. There's enough humour inherent in the situation to make the juvenile jokes unnecessary. This is an entertaining light-hearted read, and I'm tempted to say three stars because of the silliness, but I've had a bad week (stupid cold) and this book cheered me up no end and made me laugh. Four stars.
    10 people found this helpful
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  • Jack Hayes
    5.0 out of 5 stars Critical Acclaim
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 December 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I was extremely impressed by Critical Failures. It's beautifully written. The plot is taut and it's a brilliant expose of how 20-40 year old men talk amongst themselves when they're sure no-one else is around. Bevan's style is both strong and fluid, making the novel a quick read.

    However, while Critical Failures is an excellent book - it's not for everyone.

    1. If you're a fan of South Park or Seths Rogen or MacFarlane: buy this book, you won't regret it.
    2. Alternatively, if you know your Steve Jackson from your Steve Jackson (or understand what that means): buy this book, you won't regret it.
    3. If you want a lighter shade of fantasy literature, Critical Failures is to Lord of the Rings, what Red Dwarf is to Star Wars: buy this book, you won't regret it.
    4. If you're an author still looking to find your voice or understand why your adverb & adjective laden work is repeatedly getting one and two-star reviews: buy this book, you could learn a lot from Bevan's writing style.

    If none of those apply, you'll struggle with Critical Failures. That's not a fault of the book - it is a perfect photograph of the characters and Dungeons & Dragons environment it seeks to portray - it's just that the subject matter may not be to everyone's taste.

    Nonetheless, I can heartily recommend it as a storming novel and I'll certainly look forward to reading more in the series.
    4 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • SEBASTIEN LARABEE
    5.0 out of 5 stars Just a fantastic ride
    Reviewed in Canada on 18 December 2023
    Verified Purchase
    I've played a lot of D&D in my life and honest to god, im pretty sure this is the greatest game I've ever beheld.

    Read it. As simple as that.
    Report
  • Roger McIntosh
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good fun read
    Reviewed in Australia on 23 July 2021
    Verified Purchase
    Fun read
    Good pace, the jokes were good, and good characters to follow, looking forward to reading more of them
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  • Matheus Azevedo Barbosa
    5.0 out of 5 stars Real RPG experience
    Reviewed in Brazil on 4 May 2018
    Verified Purchase
    Bought it by accident (I was new on kindle), but did not regret a bit. I Just need to say that I saw me and my friends playing an RPG while I was reading the book. It really gets the feeling of a bunch of idiots trying to do something epic with Benny Hill on the background.
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  • Nacnac
    5.0 out of 5 stars Muy divertida
    Reviewed in Spain on 30 June 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Empecé por este y ya me he leido todos los libros de la saga. Basado en los juegos de rol tipo Dungeons&Dragons es una historia muy original, con situaciones, personajes y diálogos absurdamente divertidos. Espero pronta continuación de Caverns and Creatures
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  • Chase
    5.0 out of 5 stars raunchy mayhem, lots of fun
    Reviewed in the United States on 18 April 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Frat house humor and role playing go hand in hand with this book. I appreciated the plot but the pace was a little slow due to how silly everyone behaves. The ending was pretty open ended which makes for an exciting second book. Worth a read if you want a break from serious fantasy
    Report

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