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Terry Ravenscroft
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Dear Coca-Cola: A Customer Relations Nightmare. Kindle Edition

by Terry Ravenscroft (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.9 out of 5 stars 638 ratings
Putting pen to paper with hilarious results, in Dear Coca-Cola Terry Ravenscroft homes in on the Food & Drink industry. Household names such as Heinz, McDonalds, Tesco, Kentucky Fried Chicken and those wonderful people at Coca-Cola are the targets for his entertaining epistles, resulting in a laugh-out-loud letters book with a difference. Is he really a fan of Butcher's Dog Food? (For him. not his dog.) And you really don’t want to know what he asks Jacob’s Biscuits for! But you will when you’ve read his letters to them. You will never look at the contents of your refrigerator or kitchen cupboards in the same way again.Amazon Reader's review -"Do not read this book whilst holding a cold drink, a hot partner or anything squeezable. The genius of this man’s writing is a beautiful thing to read, dry, sharply observed and above all cheap as chips on kindle downloads. As funny as ‘Dear Air 2000’ but without the lasagne although you will never be able to look at Bisto gravy granules in quite the same way ever again. Whatever you do download this and help keep Terry Ravenscroft in Oxfam trousers and 2 bottles of white wine." Lee Sylvester.
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  1. Print length
    211 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Accessibility
    Learn more
  4. Publication date
    2 Jan. 2014
  5. File size
    880 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0052XP1AE
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Razzamatazz Publications
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ 2 Jan. 2014
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 880 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 211 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer reviews:
    3.9 out of 5 stars 638 ratings

About the author

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Terry Ravenscroft

Terry Ravenscroft

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The day after Terry Ravenscroft threw in his mundane factory job to become a television comedy scriptwriter he was involved in a car accident that left him unable to turn his head. Since then he has never looked back.

Before they took him away he wrote scripts for Les Dawson,The Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise, Alas Smith and Jones, Not the Nine O'Clock News, Ken Dodd, Roy Hudd, and several others. He also wrote the award-winning BBC radio series Star Terk Two. He now writes humorous books, 21 thus far with no signs of letting up.Three of them, Stairlift to Heaven, Dear Coca-Cola and Dear Air 2000 were in the top ten of the Kindle Best Sellers list at the same time. His latest novel is Jerry's; his latest non-fiction book is the autobiographical Stairlift to Heaven 4-Still Hanging On.

Born in New Mills, Derbyshire, England in 1938, he still lives there with his girlfriend, Divine Bottom (in his dreams).

Customer reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
638 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book brilliantly funny, with one review noting it's a collection of complaint letters to various organizations. Moreover, the book is easy to read in bits, and customers consider it worth the price. However, the pacing receives negative feedback, with several customers describing it as repetitive and boring.

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104 customers mention ‘Humor’87 positive17 negative

Customers find the book brilliantly funny, with many noting it had them chuckling from start to finish.

"...reading this on the Kindle, and I have to say it's one of the funniest things I've read in ages...." Read more

"Absolutely hilarious. This was the first book that I read by this author...." Read more

"The book started well and made me chuckle for a few pages until I realised that it amounts to nothing more than someone wasting the valuable time of..." Read more

"...It had me laughing out loud several times and I have already recommended it to someone...." Read more

77 customers mention ‘Readability’66 positive11 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, describing it as a brilliant and fabulous read that can be enjoyed bit by bit, with one customer noting it's convenient for short reading sessions.

"...Brilliant! Will be buying this for my friends." Read more

"...This book was read over a longer period as reading it from start to finish in a sittings would be quite annoying to me as the letters and..." Read more

"The book started well and made me chuckle for a few pages until I realised that it amounts to nothing more than someone wasting the valuable time of..." Read more

"...A brilliant book that you can pick up and put down if you're on the go (unless you're like me and physically can't put it down)." Read more

9 customers mention ‘Value for money’9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book well worth its price.

"...Well worth the price." Read more

"...What a rebel, eh? This was fortunately free and fully worth what it cost...." Read more

"...of the letters did get a little repetitive towards the end but a good book for 89p." Read more

"Funny and free. A bit of light relief. Would recommend to other readers." Read more

27 customers mention ‘Pacing’7 positive20 negative

Customers find the pacing of the book repetitive and boring, describing it as terrible and time-wasting.

"...The problem is after the first few companies the scenarios and approach goes stale and repetitive...." Read more

"...the first letters but there after it just becomes very samey and repetitive to the point I found myself skim reading, what he is doing isn't even..." Read more

"It was OK, I wouldn't recommend getting this as well as Dear Air 2000 as they are effectively the same book...." Read more

"...It's just a series of very silly and childish letters to well known companies complaining about ludicrous and unbelievable situations with their..." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

  • S. Mason
    5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 February 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I'm currently reading this on the Kindle, and I have to say it's one of the funniest things I've read in ages. Just glad i'm not reading this on the train, as it really is laugh-out-loud funny. A collection of Terry Ravenscroft's letters to food manufacturing companies in praise and complaint, with references to other letters and experiences from earlier in the book. I particularly liked his idea for 'Cock of Puddings' made from the over-abundant rice he found in a Cock-a-leekie soup. Brilliant! Will be buying this for my friends.
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  • ducky
    4.0 out of 5 stars Dear Coca-Cola Review
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 September 2012
    Verified Purchase
    Absolutely hilarious. This was the first book that I read by this author. I was laughing my head off to his ever so sarcastic letters to the companies. I would love to have been the fly on the wall in the recipients' office and what their reaction when they read these letters. This book was read over a longer period as reading it from start to finish in a sittings would be quite annoying to me as the letters and situations seem similar. Overall a funny book.
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  • P. Hunter
    3.0 out of 5 stars I laughed and laughed, until I stopped.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 March 2014
    Verified Purchase
    The book started well and made me chuckle for a few pages until I realised that it amounts to nothing more than someone wasting the valuable time of other people. A light hearted letter to a PR department may provide mild amusement for the recipient, once or even twice, but more so you realise that the author is just a wind-up merchant who has set out to get on people's nerves.
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  • Alice
    5.0 out of 5 stars A gem of a book
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 24 April 2012
    Verified Purchase
    This book is right up my street and I literally haven't put it down since I started it a few hours ago (I have a very boring job). It had me laughing out loud several times and I have already recommended it to someone. I am really looking forward to reading more of Terry Ravenscrofts letters (I really hope he has created more books like this). A brilliant book that you can pick up and put down if you're on the go (unless you're like me and physically can't put it down).
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  • Atlas
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Very Funny Book
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 January 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I don't usually do book reviews on Amazon. I feel it only fair that I do one for Dear Coca Cola. This is a very funny book of complaint letters to various organisations, and the writer is extremely witty. The repsonses from the various organisations the author writes to are predictable, but I couldn't read any responses without knowing that who ever had written back to the author MUST have had a good laugh but had to maintain their professional stance. I literally laughed out loud throughout this book. If you want to have a good laugh and walk away smiling (and still laughing), you should buy this book.
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  • Robert Sloggett
    2.0 out of 5 stars A formula which goes stale
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 26 May 2012
    Verified Purchase
    This must be a "Marmite" book based upon the "spread" of reviews. Either you love it or hate it.
    Hate is a strong word, so I will replace this with "got bored with". The premise is novel, write to well know companies with a complaint, see how they respond and then keep going until the stop answering your letters (which get progressively more unrealistic).
    The problem is after the first few companies the scenarios and approach goes stale and repetitive.

    It was OK as a free download but with so much content out their to read, it does not draw me in to visit this authors work again.

    As I said, Marmite....
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  • John Chapman
    4.0 out of 5 stars Ruined my wife's concentration - and she wasn't reading it!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 January 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I was forbidden to read this book in the same room as my wife since her efforts to edit our book 'Regret and Retribution' was completely disrupted by my guffaws of laughter.

    Terry comes up with some very original ideas in his letters - from Tesco (un)healthy choices to Ryvita butties filled with oven chips deep fried in beef dripping. Feeding tripe flavour dog food to a client is absolutely priceless!

    What makes Dear Coca-Cola so wonderful are the many responses he gets from manufacturers, some of whom obviously do not recognise Terry as a TV comedy show scriptwriter. Others obviously do and enter into the spirit of things in their responses.

    Terry wrote this book after his other successful 'Dear Air2000' book and started it by writing to Coca-Cola, hence the title. It's a little slow at the beginning so I only gave it four stars but gets MUCH better. Were it not for the slightly slow start I would have tried to give it six stars.

    Well worth the price.
    One person found this helpful
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  • gilders
    3.0 out of 5 stars Not as funny as I'd expected
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 January 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Anyone can write a complaint to a company in a humorous way, but what makes it funny is when the company's customer relations representative replies with humour rather than standardised replies. Maybe further in to the book the replies have some humour in them, but I didn't get very far before it bored me. I may return back to it as it is a very convenient book for reading for just a few minutes and being able to return to it much later.
    It feels like the author of these letters believes he is such a funny guy, but doesn't realise that they're not very funny and if they were, the replies would have a sense of humour. It comes across as though the customer relations staff read his letters and think "here we go again, someone else thinking he's a comedian" and just give him a standard reply until they get bored of his repeated replies and they eventually ignore him.
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Settle man
    5.0 out of 5 stars What a read
    Reviewed in Spain on 7 July 2014
    Verified Purchase
    A very very hilarious book - so good that I read it twice to keep my chucleometer revved up.
    Cannot stop thinking about Campbell's cock of pudding
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  • Cape Hope
    2.0 out of 5 stars A bit funny but gets old quickly
    Reviewed in France on 1 April 2012
    Verified Purchase
    The book consists in consumer letters addressed to various big brands (from coca-cola to canned soup) and the ensuing correspondence.

    The "joke" resides in the letters obtained from the big brands as a reply to sometimes totally absurd consumer letters. It's vaguely funny, yes, but not fall-off-you-chair funny, and it got old quickly, as far as I'm concerned. Maybe this particular type of "wit" eludes me. At any rate I lost interest (it's a bit funny first, then repetitive) and I didn't finish the book.

    Note: I got this e-book FOR FREE before the price went up. I'd have been pretty annoyed to have paid anything for it. I sometimes wonder about the pricing policy of ebooks, it's really not very enticing.
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  • Clark
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny Book!
    Reviewed in the United States on 2 August 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I am 75% done with his book and find it very funny. In fact I started writing letters to food manufactures and Coffee manufactures with funny results. Here is one to Chef Boyardee.

    I love your Mini Ravioli's and have them 3 times a week. Unfortunately my wife hates them since they stain my shirts and now has me take my shirt off before eating them. Do you know how to get the stains out? Is there a proper way to eat them without getting them on my shirt?
    Clark,

    Hello Clark,
    Thank you for your email concerning our Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli.

    I really enjoyed hearing how much you and your wife like and use our Mini Ravioli and I am sorry to hear they get on your shirt when enjoying them! Although we do not have any recommendations, you are welcome to contact the Drycleaning & Laundry Institute (formerly International Fabric Care Institute) at:

    Website: [...]
    Ph: [...]
    Local ph: [...]
    Fax: [...]
    Email:[...]
    Thanks again for your feedback, Clark. We really enjoy hearing from our loyal consumers and I hope you will continue to use and enjoy our products!

    I hope you have a great day!
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  • The Bionic Stan
    3.0 out of 5 stars Mildly amusing
    Reviewed in the United States on 4 November 2015
    Verified Purchase
    The author wrote letters to various companies in the UK, with various queries from the routine (whether a product contains meat) to the absurd (oatmeal and sexual relations). He then replied, trying to keep the other company replying while his letters got more and more ridiculous, till the company got wise to his game and stopped answering. This book is those sets of correspondence, with maybe 25 companies.

    It was an interesting concept, though not the first time a humorist has done this. But a little of this goes a long way. Some of his queries were mildly amusing, but nothing rose to the level of "hilarious".I wouldn't feel the need to read more of this sort of thing from this author. And while he's not a bad writer, there's so much else out there that I really don't feel the need to sample any of his other writing.

    One note on formatting of the book: Although correspondence with each company would logically be a chapter, there's no division between correspondence with one company and correspondence with the next. I found that mildly annoying. There's no table of contents. At the end, there's a LOT of promotion of his other books.

    Bottom line: it passed the time, but it didn't make me want to read more.
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  • Mrs. D. L. Powell
    4.0 out of 5 stars better than Dear Air 2000
    Reviewed in the United States on 13 June 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I see there are many varied reviews of this book, and can understand that humour is subjective, and can often depend on where in the world you are from. Some US citizens may not have 'got' some of the nuances which the British would. So yes, I would start by saying the humour is very much more suited to those who are aware of the products and companies in question.

    I found it incredibly funny. It was good to see some companies were very good natured in the exchanges, and I suspect they knew they were being 'had' but were playing along. I also take my hat off to Terry who found a way of reacting to the replies whereby the scenario could be continued. Until he received a reply, he could never know how the sketch would pan out, so there is quite a skill level displayed here. I would expect nothing less from the person who bought us Cissie and Aida :D :D

    What also astounded me, was the amount of times he received a standard reply. Those companies obviously do not take customer comments seriously, nor do they read half of them, going by the fact they did not address his initial queries. Terry is not a man to back down though, and he soon humbled them by pointing out the error of their ways.

    Would I recommend this? Yes I would. I think it is better than Dear Air 2000 (which I still enjoyed hugely by the way) due to the fact he has more latitude and scope. There are only so many things you can comment on regarding airline travel I guess, but the world is your oyster when it comes to product quirks. Yet I loved how he had a running joke throughout. Oven chips appeared regularly and he did manage to throw in a nice wee story regarding the lasagne.

    Terry is a gem of a writer, and having read 4 of his books now, I have the remainder lined up ready.
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