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Peter Nuttall
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I Want To Complain : An Alternative Guide To Customer Service Kindle Edition

by Peter Nuttall (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.4 out of 5 stars 72 ratings
Have you got something to complain about? Have you been short changed? Have you complained but got nothing but hollow apologies? Are you due compensation? Then this book could help. Instead of writing letters using red biro and block capitals, underlining every other word, swearing at inappropriate places and writing key words twice as big, follow the 'I want to complain' philosophy and make your letters entertaining; make the person dealing with your complaint want to help you instead of shoving your letter under the pile of others they have to deal with that day and getting to it 'later'.

With eight years experience in a customer management role for a multi-national retailer, Peter realised that it was the light-hearted, entertaining letters that received the most satisfactory resolutions. 'I want to complain' explains exactly what life is like on the other end of the call-centre telephone and just how to ensure your complaints are dealt with as a priority.

The second section of the book contains a collection of genuine complaint letters Peter has written over the years using the philosophy laid out in the first section, along with their replies so you can see for yourself just how it works. Those companies written to include Marks and Spencer, Tesco, Asda and even Newcastle city council to get a parking ticket revoked - all with positive resolutions.

'I want to complain' hopes to put the 'fun' into refund and the 'jest' into goodwill gesture as it takes you on an entertaining and humorous journey into the world of customer services.

'I want to complain' was featured on Susan Calman's BBC Radio 4 feature 'The art of Complaining' in December 2011.
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  1. Print length
    94 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    6 May 2011
  4. File size
    1.3 MB
  5. Page Flip
    Enabled
  6. Word Wise
    Enabled
  7. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Product description

About the Author

Peter became musical director of the Fatfield Junior Operatic Society (now the Rainbow Youth Theatre) in 1996. He then became Director-Chairman of the Washington Theatre Group from 2000 to 2005. He wrote, directed and produced his first stage show at the age of 26, a musical called 'Dark Heart', which was first staged by the Washington Theatre Group in 2001 and again in 2003. He concentrated on writing for stage with 'Cinderella and the Pantomime Thief' and 'Snow White and the Curse of the Ice Queen' among the scripts published by www.lazybeescripts.co.uk.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B004ZRFJSC
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Peter Nuttall
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ 6 May 2011
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1.3 MB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 94 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer reviews:
    3.4 out of 5 stars 72 ratings

About the author

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Peter Nuttall

Peter Nuttall

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I write about things that make me laugh. I write things I'd like to read if other people had written them. I write about things I know, things I've actually done or been around and involved in.

I'm grateful to each and every person who buys and reads one of my books. The positive feedback I recieve makes every 3am 'must-get-this-chapter-finished' session and 9th cup of coffee of the day worth while.

If you can't be bothered to read anything I've written, you can have someone read it to you on Audible - especially my novel 'Paranopoly' which is a comedy set in a caravan park on the North-East coast of England.

Upcoming projects include 'From He-man to Pacman : an alternative guide to growing up in the 1980s' and 'Tales from the Twisted Tree' a collection of horror and science fiction short stories.

I'm on twitter if you want to say hello : @Peter__Nuttall

Thanks for stopping by.

Customer reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars
72 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book hilarious and appreciate its useful advice. However, the readability receives mixed feedback - while some consider it a good read, others find it unreadable.

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11 customers mention ‘Humor’11 positive0 negative

Customers find the book humorous, with some describing it as an amusing read and one mentioning they laughed out loud many times while reading it.

"...So be nice to complaints staff, we're only trying to do our job. A fab funny read with real insight into the job." Read more

"...Lots of good advice about what call centers get up to, and very funny. But as i said the second half just lets things down big time...." Read more

"...as the Kindle version was free on Amazon and found a tiny part of it very funny (the lists of things people have complained about) and some of it..." Read more

"...Overall the book was funny but I found the letters section a bit tedious...." Read more

8 customers mention ‘Advice level’8 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's advice level positive, with one customer noting it provides real insight into the job, while another mentions it is informative in a highly amusing way.

"...A fab funny read with real insight into the job." Read more

"...Lots of good advice about what call centers get up to, and very funny. But as i said the second half just lets things down big time...." Read more

"...I'm awarding two stars here as there are a couple of chapters that are mildly interesting, the training chapter being one of them...." Read more

"This book started with a great introduction and promised a great deal...." Read more

13 customers mention ‘Readability’6 positive7 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's readability, with some finding it a very good read, while others describe it as dull.

"...I found them all incredibly dull and humourless...." Read more

"...Therefore i have increased the star rating to four stars as the book content is great its just the technology that lets it down..." Read more

"...unfunny, although I recognise that humour is subjective and one mans Tommy Cooper is another mans Clement Freud...." Read more

"...It's worth a read if you've worked in Customer Service, but don't believe that the call centre adviser doesn't care because most of them do and..." Read more

7 customers mention ‘Readableness’0 positive7 negative

Customers find the book difficult to read, with multiple reviews describing it as unreadable, and one customer noting that the text size is too small to make out.

"...reply letters included in the second part of the book are totally unreadable on kindle. And wont resize...." Read more

"...to his complaints are also included, but these are almost impossible to read as they are printed in pale grey and there is no way to make the text..." Read more

"...Overall the book was funny but I found the letters section a bit tedious...." Read more

"...being able to read the reply letters! they were unreadable as the text size didn't change, I think they are imbeded as images?..." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

  • karen
    5.0 out of 5 stars True to life and very funny
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 March 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I have worked in call centres for 25 years and found myself nodding in agreement to most of this book. There are always 2 ways to deal with a complaint, the slow way and the quick way. Guess which one abusive customers get! So be nice to complaints staff, we're only trying to do our job. A fab funny read with real insight into the job.
    3 people found this helpful
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  • chochouse
    4.0 out of 5 stars edited review
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 6 April 2012
    Verified Purchase
    If you are planning on buying this book for kindle....DON'T.
    In paperback i should imagine that it would be fine, but the reply letters included in the second part of the book are totally unreadable on kindle. And wont resize.
    If you want to ignore the second part of the book then the first half is great.Lots of good advice about what call centers get up to, and very funny.
    But as i said the second half just lets things down big time.
    I purchased this book for free and i can tell you now i will be complaining direct to the author and asking for my money back.

    After the comment below i thought i should mention that maybe i should learn to use my kindle. Yes the letters do scale up this way, and although not perfect, are readable.Therefore i have increased the star rating to four stars as the book content is great its just the technology that lets it down...
    2 people found this helpful
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  • PinkRDchick
    1.0 out of 5 stars The most boring book I have ever read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 October 2014
    Verified Purchase
    I got this book as the Kindle version was free on Amazon and found a tiny part of it very funny (the lists of things people have complained about) and some of it mildly interesting (the descriptions of what the call centre staff get up to) but then the last part of the book just comprises complaint letters from the author and the various responses he received.

    In his introduction to the book the author says humourous complaints are more likely to receive a response, it's a shame he didn't take advice when writing his own complaint letters. I found them all incredibly dull and humourless. In addition to this, the letters he received in response to his complaints are also included, but these are almost impossible to read as they are printed in pale grey and there is no way to make the text any darker. On the older Kindles (the ones with the black and white screen) you can use the directional button to zoom in but I didn't really find that this helped me to read them.

    I can't understand why some of the reviewers thought this book was hilarious, I can only assume they must have been reading a different book from the one I was reading.

    Also, I don't know if anyone proof read the book before it was published but wasn't impressed to find apostrophes in the wrong places and spelling mistakes. A bit more attention to detail might have made it look more professional.

    I would not recommend this book, unless you need something to read to put you to sleep.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Apollo
    2.0 out of 5 stars I'd like to complain!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 6 April 2012
    Verified Purchase
    This book states it's credentials early on and promises us an insight into the world of the put upon call centre operator which will be followed up by a lesson in how to complain finishing with some template examples of real written complaints. In all areas it delivers but the quality of the information is woeful.

    Ok, lets look at each area individually. The call centre operators - well folks it turns out that if we have a valid complaint they are likely to put us on mute, make fun of us, hang up on us etc. No surprises there and plenty of vindication for those of us who hate to interact with cretins like these and cretins they are if they behave in this way whilst being paid to service customer complaints, no matter how tedious the task may be. Apparently, it is up to us to "help these people enjoy their jobs"! Having said that I'm sure that, like me, you don't think that all call centre operators are like this.

    Now lets look at the lesson in how to complain. I'm not going to spoil it for you but it consists of two pieces of advice and isn't worthy of the price of the book (and I downloaded it free!).

    Finally, the examples of real written complaints. The author advises using humour when contacting companies to complain but it looks like he fails to take his own advice as these examples are, to me, traincrashingly (new word?) unfunny, although I recognise that humour is subjective and one mans Tommy Cooper is another mans Clement Freud. I stopped reading them as they were no more than the ramblings of a deluded mind at times. What I found worst of all about these examples is that although they were real, none of them seemed to have any legitimate complaint and a couple were complete non-sequiturs. In one example the author pays for a parking ticket and fails to display it as per the terms and conditions and in doing so cops a ticket because of this. He then writes to the local council casting aspersions upon the warden and making all sorts of unfounded accusation against him/her. The letter was a blatant lie and I fail to see any humour therein.

    As an aside and despite others saying they can't, all the reproduced letters can be scaled up if you are using a kindle with the 5 way button. Simply press the up arrow when on the page in question and then you'll see a magnifying glass. Following this press the centre button to zoom. The problem then becomes the faint shade of grey these letters are rendered in and not the size of the font.

    I'm awarding two stars here as there are a couple of chapters that are mildly interesting, the training chapter being one of them. Unfortunately, I don't think they are good enough to redeem this book so would advise caution before buying.
    3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • julie whiteley
    4.0 out of 5 stars Not a dry advice or how to book- Hilarious! Must Read!
    Reviewed in the United States on 30 May 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I Want to Complain: An Alternative Guide to Customer Service, written by Peter Nuttall sort of sounds like a typical advice or how to book. In fact, working in customer service in one form or another myself, I thought it might be one of those books that tells us what to put in a letter, or email or what to say over the phone that gets the best results.( which it does, but not the way you might think) Some of you may think this would be boring or dry reading material or maybe something you would use as a reference book. Well, think again. Oh, yes, I suggest you use it as a reference book, but this is far from boring! This book is hilarious! The author provides insight into what is really like to work in customer service and the annoying habits people employ when voicing complaints. Then the author provides us a look at real letters people have written to complain about one thing or another. These were priceless!! I can't tell you how funny some of those letters were. But, the author, like all of us, had found himself in need of customer service or has had to voice a complaint or two himself. He then demonstrates, by posting his own letters,(and the responses) how to get the best results from companies when you've had a less than satisfactory experience. Again, downright hilarious. The humorous letters got way more results. Now, I can't write anything as witty as the author, but it's good practice to make your letter/email or whatever as light and memorable as possible for the best results. I highly recommend this book!
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  • 265XUE
    3.0 out of 5 stars Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Reviewed in the United States on 30 July 2013
    Verified Purchase
    What a snoozer! I want to complain about what a boring book this is. Geared for UK audiences, I think American companies would find the humor quite dry and unconvincing. 3 stars.
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  • Barbara
    4.0 out of 5 stars O.k. reading
    Reviewed in the United States on 20 January 2014
    Verified Purchase
    I am glad I read this book, as I have wanted to write a
    letter of complaint to our city manager. So I will use one
    of these templates to writ it. Very good timing for me.
    Report
  • Kindle Customer
    3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
    Reviewed in the United States on 15 July 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Would have been ok but I can't read the copied letters on the kindle screen as they won't enlarge
    Report

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